The Best Advice I Never Received

The other day I was giving my oldest son some valuable advice about his future. When the conversation was over I felt good for sharing my wisdom. After some time, I asked myself about some of the advice I’d received over the years. I really needed to evaluate how much other people had poured into me. I had to admit that in my younger days, I was stubborn and closed minded. I could only receive good information if it was covered in silver and gold. Although I wasn’t a bad kid, I was quite curious about my future. Like most young people, I believed that my peers had the right answers to some of my questions. More often than not, the advice I received from my peers got me in more trouble than before. There were some adults whom would occasionally pull me to the side and give me their insight. Today I am grateful for the good and bad advice I received.

Most of what I have learned has been through trial and error. Getting out into the real world and making some costly mistakes. Often times when I should have sat still and weathered the storm. I raced for solutions and buried myself in more disaster and pain.

One thing that I wished someone would have told me growing up was that I needed to give myself permission to discover my true purpose. For as long as I can remember, I looked for others to identify myself within often. Sometimes it was the beautiful brown girls on television. Or the mature and sexually advanced girls in my neighborhood. I wanted to be like “them”. In my mind I wasn’t good enough. That lack of understanding my value and worth would cost me big in my adult life.

I was hungry for love and acceptance by any means necessary. I’d enter toxic relationships with people. Thinking that just maybe I could make sense of my life. The only thing I found was that I would continue to spiral out of control until I hit the bottom.

I wished someone would have taken their time with me. Given me the tools to learn how to love myself and accept my flaws as a part of the growing process. I consider this to be the best advice I never received because I see so many young women floundering like the old me.

When my divorce has finalized I had to take a long hard look in the mirror. I had to come to terms with the fact that I had been chasing other people’s perception of who I am. I was trying to live up to other people expectations. All the while I was disappointing myself at every turn. I was afraid to fail. I was afraid to open up to people. I was constantly reminded that I was not good enough to be accepted in the world I admired.

My life changed when I decided to open up and be transparent about the things that were bothering me. I gave myself permission to feel the pain inside of me and release it. I was no longer a victim of my reality. I was learning to set myself free and just be me.

Although no one ever confirmed that I was good enough back then. I make it my mission to uplift and empower women to love and accept themselves. The truth begins to set you free the moment you decide to own your power. I’m not powerless. I’m powerful. I give myself and you permission to seek out your purpose and live life intentionally. We are here to live a beautiful and blessed life the way God intended. Don’t ever rob yourself of that fact. It’s priceless!

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One thought on “The Best Advice I Never Received

  1. Wow. This is amazing — the honesty behind your words. I am definitely taking this advice, using and applying it, today!
    Thank you so much for sharing💕


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