“Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.”- Pema Chodron
February is all about self love, empowerment, and honoring our history on the blog. Ever so often I like to take a step back and reflect on my own journey to loving myself. I don’t remember a time in my life where I have ever felt as confident and beautiful as I do today. A lot of how I viewed myself years ago was mostly contributed to societal standards of beauty and cultural stigma that plague the black community. As a brown girl growing up without my father I fell into the loop hole of seeking validation of beauty and love from men. If men didn’t like this, how could I emphasize this thing about me to make me attractive and worthy of love in their eyes. It was a toxic and downward spiral of knots that I would have to undo overtime.
From being teased in school to being awkward and uncomfortable in my teenage years. I never thought I was pretty. I didn’t understand my self worth or value. That isn’t to say I became promiscuous or thought of harming myself. But, there were moments when parts of me were empty and needed to be filled internally with the power of self love and confirmation of who I am.
I began to understand and to come know myself by my thirtieth birthday. Know longer would I allow toxic words to be carried on my skin or attached to my spirit. I decided to break up with America’s standard of beauty. I made up my mind to love and embrace all the things about me that I loved and improve the things about myself I could change. The most powerful decision I ever made was to take away other people power and influence on my life. I know longer seek perfection or popularity. Here are just a few things I love about myself:
- Belly fat : Yep! You read that correctly. Although it’s not the most flattering part of me in photos or jeans. It’s the home to where I carried my children. Every stretch mark and jiggle was filled with tender rubs, late night snacks, and stretching my skin beyond it’s limits. I’ll probably miss that six pack from high school. But, I’ll always remember the feeling of carrying my children inside of me. That’s more priceless than anything.
- Smile: I love my smile! I have my mothers smile and it’s beautiful. I’m a giggle box and I love to flash my smile every chance I get.
- Height : I’m four feet eleven ! True story, I asked God to make me the mini version of Nia Long. She was and still is the epitome of beauty in my eyes. If she can rock her short frame I figure I can do too! Laugh if you want to … short girls get all of the tall guys!
- Eyes: I am very expressive with my eyes. It’s the first thing I notice on a man that I am attracted too. Like the old saying goes, the eyes are the window to the soul. Hopefully the beauty of my soul is inviting and warm to those around me.
- Mind: I am grateful for a creative mind! My mind has opened up so many possibilities and ways to view the world. Many people only see the world with one lens. I see the world with multiple lens and respect others.
Self love is not about taking yourself out to dinner or fancy clothes. Self love is a gradual process of overcoming society standards of beauty. Self love is about being mindful of the words you speak to yourself. Examining and reflecting on the experiences that shape our world and how we feel about them. Self love is accepting and embracing your flaws and feeling powerful. Don’t give your love away for free! You are beautiful and the world needs to know that love yourself just the way you are today!
What do you love about yourself?
Leave a comment below. Like. Share. Follow.