It’s the last day of 2018. As I sit back and self reflect on the current year I’m filled with a barrage of emotions. How do you summarize a year in a blog post? How do you begin to allow the dust to settle before welcoming the new year? If you’re anything like me, you’re probably thinking it’s time to face the music. 2018 is officially moving on and it’s time to start anew with 2019. I’m impartial to change. I like to change clothes, shoes, and even the television during a commercial break. Big changes like relocating to a new city, new jobs, and shifting forward into the future make me a little uncomfortable. Uncomfortable in a way that this is an unfamilar territory and it’s going to take some time for me to get comfortable again. Call me strange or weird, that’s just how I roll.
Since I’m a glass half full type of person I want to optimistically embrace 2019 and release 2018 with good energy. My power word for 2018 was ” consistency”. I needed to consistently show up for my future self. My former self was tired of the monotony of working a nine to five, half-assing my passion, and knee-jerking my way through friendships, relationships, and potential partnerships. I wasn’t a bad person. But, I was selling myself short and giving away my valuable time. Long story short, I was drowning in my own existence. My happiness would only show up in big moments. I wanted to feel that rewarding and happy feeling daily. I knew the only way I could do that was to be consistent in my pursuit of creating the life I absolutely loved and appreciated.
Just like you I mindlessly scrolled my timeline the previous year and made promises to myself this year. I was going to take that solo vacay, dm that amazing influencer, grow my blog, promote this and sell that, and etc. The longer my wishlist became, the more I would hit the procrastinate button. That is until I cleared out my desk at work and counted down the days where I would leave my job. It was scary and unsettling, to say the least, to take a huge risk. But, it felt so right in my spirit. I laughed. I cried. I prayed. I figured it out. I made it work. People had their opinions. People made their assumptions. People were people and I understood that more than anything. I knew what God put in my heart. I knew the vision I had for my life. I knew the only way to make change happen was to push through the noise and stay focused.
In 2018, I learned that I’m not other peoples perception. I learned that life will reward you for your hard work and honesty. Even if your honesty makes those around you uncomfortable it’s where you need to be to grow. I learned to trust myself. For so long I relied on other peoples approval or cosign for me to feel comfortable moving forward with my ideas. Truth is, your ideas and dreams may sound impossible or insane to some people. But, if it feels like sunshine and water on your spirit trust it and protects it. I learned that loving me and taking care of me is a priority. That I can no longer pour from an empty cup or half full cup for others. I must always replenish my spirit with love, truth, positivity, happiness, and good energy. I learned to forgive myself for all the things I set out to do and didn’t accomplish. I’m not a failure because I didn’t finish. Some things just need more time to complete. I learned that finding the right person to love begins with me and extends to others. I learned to release anxiety, doubt, pain, and regret in my life. People may hurt me and think they mean well at the moment. I learned to not wait for the apology that may never come. But to love despite human flaws and actions.
At the end of the day, I learned to trust God and chill in the present. Don’t worry about the people and things you can’t change or control. The ones who are meant to love you will love you unconditionally. I learned to embrace the process of becoming who God intended me to be from day one. Sometimes I’ll fall short of my own expectations. Sometimes I’ll go left when I should have gone right. Sometimes I’ll love the wrong person at the right time and walk away with a new found perspective on love. I learned that life is constantly flowing and moving forward whether we are ready or not. To me, that’s beautiful and inspiring. I’ve learned to love all me and all of you. Until 2019…stay blessed and beautiful!
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